I'd like to find a box of money. Not because it would make me happy or would change my day-to-day routine or because it would change my broken tile floors to wood, but because it calms some inner turmoil that we all experience. Car sounds funny? Got a scary mole? Work's a little sluggish? No worries. I have a box of money. Who else would like one?
We know the answer. And I'll keep it our little secret.
When it comes to boxes of money, Extreme Home Makeover provides it in crane-lift-required quantities. I watched an episode of the show last night, which was filmed in Miami County--my homeland. Two factory worker parents, 4 kids--one of the children has an immune system deficiency that keeps her in and out of the hospital. The house had a serious amount of mold, and it was clear they couldn't live there. Enter deus ex machina. Complete with crane. They bulldozed and replaced with an enormous home (see photo), arguably the largest and most spectacular in my entire county. It was kind. It was generous. It was way too much.
Now, Rachel. Are you just jealous that they didn't give a box of money to you?
Jealous? Um, a little. Cue the violins... No, wait. Bad idea.
All families have their own struggles. And it's not that life should be free of challenges--sometimes life, in the grander scheme, improves because of those challenges. But it is to say that our society has a strange way of determining who gets what, why, and how much. Granted, "Extreme" is in the title of the show, so they're not going to spruce up the house with gingham curtains, hang a Tidy Bowl tablet in the john and call it done. The house is bound to be amazing. But is amazing what we need when there are so many families that struggle with harsh circumstances? If we're going to be generous, why not do it in moderation and affect so many more lives? The obvious answer? It's a TV show. TV's not supposed to show moderation. And, unfortunately, that lack of moderation that has become a nationwide virus (probably brought on from watching too much TV) is driving some "Extreme" recipients into worse financial crisis. A lot of the "Extreme" families are still paying mortgages for the homes that got bulldozed, and they can't afford it. Add a gigantic tax bill for the "improvements" on the land, and how are these people going to make it? Maybe we should talk about rentals or paying off the balance of what's owed before we go building mansions. Just a thought. Check this out (after you finish reading this blog).
In response to this, Rachel has decided to create her theoretical show ("Rachel's Recession Rescue"). Let's say that instead of a brand new, sparkling Ford pick-up, the family gets a reliable, used mini van from a local dealership that's been struggling. We pay a local mechanic to tune it up & detail it for them. Instead of building a 3 story home, we buy a house that's been on the market in town for months and help out a second family that's in dire need of unloading the house. Pay a handyman or out-of-work construction pro to fix up the place. While we're at it, make sure it's a home that's a reasonable size to avoid huge utiltity costs, and pay someone to install energy-saving appliances/insulation/windows. Buy said items locally. And instead of $50,000 cash, how about we get the family decades of high-quality health insurance? Too reasonable for TV, I know. But maybe we need to just throw in some small town gossip over a well-positioned cup of Starbucks and call it a show. Whaddya think, ABC?
My phone isn't ringing.
Well, I'd like to think that at some point we could actually find a way to give people their true boxes of money and make it TV-worthy. That somehow the gift could set minds at ease instead of making hearts race about some strange dream that they're always on the edge of losing. Give these people some reassurance that everything is going to stay ok, not some false sense of security that arises from the end table matching the custom cabinetry. And while I am, admittedly, a sucker for decor, I'm a complete and total sucker for everyone's right to aid and security when sick. If that kind of security was waiting for me in a box, it would be worth more than any McMansion you could build for me on farmland in Miami County.
